Stuck
by J.A. Aisling
Summary: ONE SHOT: Ron reflects on the regrets and mistakes of his 6th year at Hogwarts. Set during the 6th year just after Ron and Lavender broke up. Primarily Ron/Hermione. Rated T for innuendos and intense situations.


It had been a long day for Ron Weasley.

Breaking up with Lavender had surprisingly not been so difficult. It was the backlash that followed the break up that really got Ron's knickers in a knot.

Ron always had trouble with tears, especially girls' tears. He simply couldn't handle the sight of a girl crying, no matter who it was. Even Moaning Myrtle's wails back in his second year had rubbed Ron the wrong way. And to make matters worse, Lavender Brown had a knack for crying uncontrollably. Most girls ran out of tears at some point, but Lavender…

Lavender's bouts of sobs seemed to go on endlessly. She managed to find Ron every where he went and cry pointedly in his face for a while before heading off with a group of girls who would periodically turn back only to shoot Ron looks of hatred.

It was torturous.

Ron had spent the entire day waiting for the moment when he could slide into his pajamas, tuck himself into the silken sheets of his four-poster bed, and just let it all out to Harry, who had been expecting a venting session from Ron all day.

Alas, that moment had finally come.

"Harry," Ron started as soon as Harry was settled into his neighboring bed. "Why do girls have to be so emotional? I mean, their tears… It's all going to drive me mad one day."

"That's just how girls are I suppose." Harry replied, staring sleepily at the ceiling.

"Hermione's not like that…" Ron whispered, a wave of regret washing over him.

"She's strong. She can hold herself together well. She's always been like that, really." At this point, Ron suspected that Harry was really thinking of Ginny, who was admittedly quite the trooper.

But still, his words did apply to Hermione just as well.

Hermione truly was strong. She had always been the strongest girl Ron had ever met.

The word 'always' rang repeatedly in Ron's mind…

_"She's always been like that, really."_

_ Always._

Ron felt like a complete git for not seeing it before.

There he was, having wasted a good portion of his 6th year at Hogwarts with a girl whom he barely knew. Sure, Lavender was an excellent kisser, and sure, she made for a good time.

But Hermione…

Hermione made Ron happy.

She'd made him laugh and smile like no one else could for years. They were the best of friends. How could he have not seen it before?

Ron was absolutely certain Hermione had felt the same way. The signs were all there. Only, Hermione had been smart enough to realize everything sooner.

"_She probably thinks I'm an absolute arse"_ Ron thought, closing his eyes sadly.

His ignorance and idiocy could very well have cost him Hermione. What if she never forgave him? What if she quickly moved on?

Ron couldn't even bear to think of Hermione with anybody else. Painful memories of Hermione at the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum that previous year sent sharp stabs of jealousy into Ron's chest. He wished desperately that he could simply erase those memories completely.

The sound of quiet and steady snoring coming from the bed next to Ron's indicated that Harry had fallen into a deep sleep, most likely dreaming of Ginny…

Ron shuddered, the concept of Harry and Ginny as a couple hitting his mind like an avalanche.

It wasn't that he was against the idea; it would just take a bit of getting used to, that's all.

Luckily, the two love-birds had agreed to keep the snogging to a minimum when Ron was around. This was due to the likelihood of Ron losing his lunch every time Harry and Ginny even looked at eachother in a more-than-friends way.

Other than getting sick to his stomach when Harry and Ginny showed signs of affection, Ron also felt sharp pangs of jealousy. He wanted to be able to exchange those looks with a girl whom he was actually fond of. He wanted to have someone to kiss goodnight and goodmorning.

Most of all, he wanted someone to count on and love.

Surely love wasn't all snogs and steamy nights in the Gryffindor common room. That was all Ron ever had with Lavender, and he was damned near positive that it wasn't love.

With Hermione, however, everything felt so natural, so right.

With her, it would not just be a teenage fling.

It would be perfect.

Well, it would have been perfect if Ron hadn't completely blown any chance in the world that he ever had with Hermione. And to think, it could have been avoided if he had only known how to hold his tongue.

He remembered that terrible afternoon quite clearly…

_"Ron, that's not how you do it. Here, let me show you." Hermione scolded impatiently, reaching over Ron's arm to show him how to properly do the arithmancy problem that he had been fuming over for hours._

_ "Well how was I supposed to know any of that?" Ron shouted, throwing up his arms in defeat._

_ He was thankful that no one else was in the common room that afternoon, not even Harry. It was embarrassing enough to have trouble with his homework, let alone have a childish fit about it._

_ "Well Ronald, maybe if you were to spend less time snogging Lavender and more time with your classwork, you would actually develop the ability to retain information. However, it seems that all of those pointless hours spent snogging your bloody girlfriend have taken their tole on your mental capacity." Hermione ranted, tears forming in her eyes which naturally went unnoticed by Ron._

_ "You make it sound like all we do is snog all the time!" Ron was beginning to get a bit offended by Hermione's accusations._

_ "That's because you DO! Every time I see you two, it's just snog snog snog snog snog… I bet your face is permanently smothered in Lavender's saliva!" She screamed, slamming her books onto the floor in disgust._

_ "Trust me, we do more than snog…" Ron said, smirking._

_ At this, Hermione's face fell so dramatically that Ron ACTUALLY noticed. _

_ "What?" He asked, thinking about what he might have said to offend Hermione._

_ "You-You've done more than snog? H-have you…" Hermione's words trailed off, unable to finish her sentence._

_ "I mean, yeah. That ship sailed weeks ago… On this very couch I think. Although I can't really remember well… Maybe it was that one over there…" Ron babbled, deep in thought._

_ Hermione immediately stood up from the couch, trying in vain not to imagine the deeds that Ron and Lavender had done in that very spot._

_ "What are you getting up for? I've still got all these blasted problems to do…" Ron grumbled, eyeing his remaining homework angrily._

_ At that, Hermione stormed out of the room, emitting stifled sobs as she left._

It was that very event that had motivated Ron to break up with Lavender.

After many depressing hours of thought, Ron had realized how much he had hurt Hermione by betraying that litte bit of information to her.

More stabs of regret pierced Ron's heart as he reflected on the things that he stupidly gave up to Lavender.

He had given Lavender his first hand-hold, his first kiss, his first snogging session…

Worst of all, he had given her his virginity.

The memories of all those sneaky nights in the common room made Ron nauseous. He had wasted all of those nights with someone he didn't care for. All of those experiences were lost to a girl whom Ron was likely to never speak to again.

Deep down, Ron wished that he could have taken all of it back and saved it all for someone who he truly loved…

_Someone like Hermione._

But it was too late… What was done was done, and there was absolutely nothing that Ron could do about it.

Ron was stuck, hopelessly wishing for the chance to go back and do his 6th year right.

Maybe then, he would have picked Hermione instead.

With a sigh, Ron forced his mind to stop racing so that he could finally get a decent night's sleep.

Once he had finally drifted into a deep slumber, Ron slipped into a dream…

_He was clearly older, maybe in his thirties. Hermione, also older, was across the room from him, flashing her beautiful smile that turned Ron's world upside-down. _

_ Shining brightly on the fourth-finger of her left hand was a diamond-encrested wedding ring that was nearly half as breathtaking as the girl… no, the woman wearing it._

_ Darting around the room were children; two of them. Both with eerily familiar ginger hair._

If Ron had it his way, he would have stayed in that dream forever…


End file.
